BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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