four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
