the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
