Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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