just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
