so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
