Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
