mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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