You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
