so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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