TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
