what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
