I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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