Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
