Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
