but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
