You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
