Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
