Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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