His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
