Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
two words...techno handjob
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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