i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
