I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Mom said you looked used
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
