Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
