"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
