i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
