she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
