you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
