Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
