Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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