Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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