Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
