who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
