Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
