I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
