i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
