how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
