Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
