But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
