Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
