so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize