he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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