doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
