One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
