I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
