Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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