I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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