How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
