I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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