dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
