My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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