When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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