I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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