So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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