Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
