ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
