and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
