Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
