if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You did what with his pubic hair?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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