I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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