you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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